


Like Father, Like Son: Mentoring

by TheMissluluB



Series: Oh, Worms? [2]
Category: Hiveswap
Genre: But instead of facing his own feelings he decides to use (and I quote:), F/F, Hopeless Romantics, M/M, Marvus is crushing on both Kuprum flush and Charun pale, Marvus's Marvellous Matchmaking Skills, Marvux Xoloto Is The Opposite Of Smooth, More Fluff with a sprinkle of teenage angst, Multi, Other, To get his bff together with her crush, Whomst Gives Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 02:50:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15765081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMissluluB/pseuds/TheMissluluB
Summary: Marvus Xoloto is a bonafide mess. He’s crushing on two lowbloods in both of his redder quadrants, despite the risk and stigma against it. He’s not used to needing romantic advice; usually, it’s him that is giving it. So he decides to ignore the situation in favour of dealing with something else: getting his best friend a date.Of course, he should know better than to ignore his problems.Or: In which Marvus’ "Adopted" one-sweep-younger-than-him son gives him some solid advice on his feelings, and the two plot to get Chahut and Konyyl together.





	Like Father, Like Son: Mentoring

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feelings for the unnamed purple kid and his (possible) father.
> 
> Word of warning: the most part of this was written before Chahut's sim was released ;D

Marvus was not alright. Marvus was far from being even close to alright. If anything, he was all left. That’s how far he was from being alright. 

… Haha, pun. 

Back to feeling Messiahs Damned Awful.

He sighed a deep sigh. The real reason why he kept coming back to that cafe was because of his ever growing crush on the server that made the slogan what it was today. It was Marvus’ fault that the cafe was so popular in the first place; having friends everywhere across every caste helps, but in that case all he needed were the bottom three outfits.

He remembered when he first met Kuprum at that cafe. He got into a fight against a Gold who wanted to hurt a wiggler, so Marvus headbutted them and told the wiggler to run off somewhere. (Sometimes he thinks he should have been hatched Jade.) He culled the Goldblood anyway, but he was covered in Blood himself, both Gold and his own. He had panicked, because it was raining, and he hadn’t anywhere to run to, so he broke a pair of that trolls horns and attached them to a headband he had with some craft glue, and dressed up like a goldblood. He fluffed his hair up and ran out of the alleyway and into the first bit of shelter he came across. There were two other golds inside there. Marvus stared at them. They stared back. It was quiet for a long, long time before one of the Golds finally chirped up.

“Welcome to TrEATS, where the treat is in the teat!” 

Marvus burst out laughing. 

The Gold introduced himself, and the rest is history. 

Marvus knew he was fucked. 

He had took an arrow right in the flush quadrant. 

He couldn’t just burst into the cafe decked out in his usual gear and ask Kuprum’s hand in matespritship. That would be weird. He doesn’t  _ know  _ Marvus. He knows  _ Sparki.  _

He supposed talking to someone about it would help. But who?? It’s not like Marvus just has a harem of moirails (that would be very weird, no thanks). In fact, it’s usually  _ him _ that spouts the lusus-like advice. He doesn’t know where to start, or even  _ how.  _

His phone vibrated.

Oh, Charun. The olive.

CHARUN: I was thinking abo-3ut yo-3ur issue. I still think yo-3u sho-3uld give it a sho-3t, yo-3u and him. Perhaps like, bump into-3 him o-3n happenstance? I do-3n’t kno-3w... I’ve never been go-3o-3d at ro-3mance things. 

MARVUS: Why are you bothering anyway bro? Its not like it concerns you.

CHARUN: I dunno-3 why I am, but I think everyo-3ne deserves a chance at happiness!

MARVUS: Hmm. Maybe youre right. Maybe iM just over exaggerating. 

CHARUN: Yo-3u’re no-3t! Yo-3ur situatio-3n is difficult, but we’ll get thro-3ugh it! I just kno-3w it! 

CHARUN: :o-3

MARVUS:

Oh. Oh, no.

MARVUS: H.

MARVUS: What the fuck is that.

MARVUS: Oh My god. Its like it has a little clown nose. With a Meowbeast Mouth.

MARVUS: Thats the cutest thing i have ever seen. Its also the stupidest thing.

MARVUS: 10/10.

CHARUN: Really??? 

_ Oh, no. _

MARVUS: DaMn straight.

CHARUN: ////

CHARUN: Thank yo-3u!!! 

_ Oh,  _ **_NO._ **

MARVUS: ... Thanks bro. For all of this you know.

MARVUS: It Means a lot.

CHARUN: Well, yo-3u helped me! I’m just returning the favour.

MARVUS: Suppose i did ahaha. Either way its appreciated.

CHARUN: O-3h sho-3o-3t, go-3t to-3 go-3!! See yo-3u so-3o-3n.

CHARUN: Bye!!!

MARVUS: Have fun with whatever youre doing.

CHARUN: Yo-3u to-3o-3.

_ Well this is just great, _ Marvus thought before he sighed.

Now he has two crushes to deal with. Though he always had two crushes anyway, this conversation just made that particular one worse.

He’s so, so pale for Charun. He’s liked them since Charun offered his k-uh, the twins back for refreshments. Anyone who takes care of his kids is a good and valid troll. He’s been pale for them since… well, he went around to their cave and saw them rolling around crushing on Cirava. Marvus just wanted to help at first, but now he can’t stop. He doesn’t understand how a troll can be so lovable - even if said troll eats worms. In fact, it’s what makes the troll cuter. (Maybe he should think of a phrase better than ‘bro’ to call them.)

_ Oh, Marvus, _ He thought to himself,  _ You really _have_ got it BAD. _

“You ok, Dad?” He heard the kid say from… somewhere. Probably the vent.

“Yeah,” Marvus replied, attempting to cover up the flustered sounds he was making.

“You sure?”

He nods, “Yeah. Don’t worry about me, kiddo,”

Marvus heard some more scuttling before silence descends. He sighs.

There’s no good way to get out of this mess. So better to not think about it. Instead, Marvus decided to think about how to get Chahut and Konyyl together. 

“Dad?” 

The sound of the kid had made him nearly jump out of his skin. 

“Good motherfucking messiah’s FUCK,” He yelped,  _ “WARN _ a guy before you do that- fucking hell, what are you, a laughassassin?”

The kid laughed in his face.

Because of course, he did. 

Because he’s a little  _ SHIT. _

“Do you really think I’d make a good laughassassin?” He asked, jumping up to sit on the kitchen counter. 

Marvus shrugged, “You’re quiet when you want to be unnoticed.”

That made the little shit grin. God, he loves his weird nightmare of a son. He wouldn’t trade him for the world, honestly. He’s too good for the world. 

“Anyway, what’re you doing here?” Marvus asked, “I thought you scuttled away,”

Kiddo shrugged, “Telling me not to worry about you is only going to make me more worried. You should know that by  _ now,” _

It’s true that the kid perceives emotions a lot more easily compared to some of the other purples in Marvus’ little posse; it’s all down to a weird quirk in his chucklevoodoos. Everyone knows that chucklevoodoos are unique to each purpleblood - excluding ancestors and descendants, of course. Each ‘Voodoo has a specific wavelength and pattern it falls into, and each has its own special power relating to it. Most chucklevoodoos focus on fear and suppression. Some are strong enough to badly affect even violetbloods. Some gain traction though Rage and Loneliness, but others can make it seem like time has stopped momentarily. 

That’s Marvus’ ‘Voodoos. He hardly ever uses it because it hurts his pan like a MOTHERFUCKER. Fucking Time-Bending ‘Voodoos.

The kid has a ‘Voodoo Marvus wished he had instead. 

It latches into someones pan and completely destroys the pan it’s inside. The side effect is something interesting - the kid can feel the emotions of others, if he focuses hard enough. He also can’t seem to be able to _turn it off._

So he notices odd irregularities of a person’s emotions, and.

Well.

Despite literally  _ everything,  _ he wants to  _ fix it. _

He’s a fucking weirdo. But Marvus loves him like he’s his father. Considering his hive burnt down taking his lusus with him, Marvus thinks the kid sees him as a lusus. 

He at least hopes, anyway.

Like, the kid  _ does _ call him Dad, so. That’s gotta count for  _ something. _

“You don’t need to worry about me though.”

“Dad.”

“It’s none of your concern.”

_ “DAD.” _

Marvus looked over and stared at the kid. He kept up with his gaze. He didn’t even budge. He was sticking to his guns. 

There was really no better way out of this, was there?

“If you say a single word about this I will not hesitate to…” Marvus trailed off then, unsure about what he’d actually do if the kid told. 

“To what?” He asked, curious but also a hint of cockiness too. 

Marvus smirked, “I won’t hesitate to take all your snacks away for a whole month.”

He gasped, horrified. 

“You  _ wouldn’t” _

A maniacal grin spread across his face as he turned to look at his son. “Wouldn’t I?”

“FINE, FINE, I GET IT.”

Works every time.

However, Marvus starts thinking about whether or not he should  _ tell _ him what he’s thinking. He knows that the kid could gather that information if he so wished, but he also knows that he  _ wouldn’t. _ He’s too scared to. 

(He’s scared of his own Chucklevoodoos, and that’s a damn shame.)

“It’s not even about me,” Marvus said.

The kiddo stared at Marvus.

“Liar.”

Well fuck.

“Bold of you to assume your father is a liar,”

“Dad, you were making weird sounds which sounded vaguely similar to-” He then proceeds to make a fairly shitty and extremely over-exaggerated version of Marvus’ flustered sounds from earlier.

Marvus stared at him. “No, I wasn’t.”

_ Wow, Marvus. Wow. _

“Yes, you was.”

“Were.”

The kid stuck his tongue out at him.

“I do not follow the rules of the grammatically correct,” He told Marvus, “I follow the rules of the grammatically dead.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense.”

His son grinned. Marvus would give the world to protect his son’s smile. He would, it’s the most precious thing on the planet.

10/10, would protect again, now and always. 

“Now, tell me why you’re actin’ all flustered like,” He asks, “It’s super weird to see you like that.” He then mumbles something about only seeing Chahut act like that behind closed doors. Marvus chuckled at the thought. 

“Can’t ya Dad be flustered once in a while?” Marvus asked, jokingly. 

“You’re the calm one. So no.”

He sighed. The kid was right, it was pretty out of character of him to act like a young wiggler with his first ever crush.

… Despite this being his first ever crush, in both quadrants. 

…

Oh, God damn it. 

“This is gonna take a while,” Marvus mutters, before picking the kid up off the counter and over his shoulder. The kid allowed him this much, not making an attempt to get out of the hold. He could if he wanted to, but Marvus knew better. He knew the little’un liked being carried.

Marvus carried the kid from the kitchen all the way to his respiteblock. He put the kid down on the nearest flat surface, which just happened to be the ‘coon-side table, which held his husktop usually. He grabbed the spinning chair he owned and wheeled it closer to the kid before sitting down.

“So, basically,” Marvus began explaining, unsure of where exactly to  _ start.  _ “I don’t know why I’m entrusting you with this, considering I’m basically your Dad-”

“Dad, you’re also only a sweep older than me,” He interrupts, “You can tell me your problems.”

… That’s true. Despite how young he looks, he is only a sweep or so younger than Marvus himself.

Marvus sighs a heavy sigh. Finally, he relented, telling his issue in four words precisely.

“I have a crush.”

There’s a moment of silence between the two until finally, the kid screeches.

_ “WHAT????” _

It took 18 minutes and 45.873 seconds for the unnamed child to stop bouncing around screaming in glee. Of course, while he was bouncing, he was screaming about how Marvus wouldn’t get culled by drones for lacking the capability to love people romantically instead of platonically. “Ok, one: I find that pretty fucking offensive,” Marvus had argued at the time, but the kid refused to listen.

So, when he finally calmed down, Marvus had put him in the spinny-chair, and he sat on the desk. The spinning would be enough of a distraction for the wiggler, he’s always had a short attention span. 

“So I have a crush - two actually,” Marvus explained, “Flush and Pale, for a Goldblood and an Oliveblood respectively,”

“Wait,” The kid said, “Is the Oliveblood the one who was playing that weird chill music stream while making the weird junk-sculptures?” 

“Uhh… yes.”

“Hmm. They seem nice. And the Goldblood is…?” He pauses, thinking, “Actually, I didn’t know you knew a Goldblood.”

Marvus shrugged, “You wouldn’t, you’ve never met him,” 

“Can I?”

“Tough question, considering the Goldblood doesn’t even know  _ me,” _ Marvus lamented.

The kid glares at him. “You can’t just fall flush for people you don’t even know Dad, oh Messiahs help you.”

“Hey, you didn’t listen to me proper,” Marvus grumbled, before pulling out his phone and flipping to a picture with him (as Sparki) and the Goldblood in question. “See? I’ve met him,” He shows the wiggler (wait, should he really call him a wiggler, considering the tiny age difference? He doesn’t want to think about him getting older) the picture.

He takes the phone, glancing at the picture while spinning around on the chair. He pulls a face at it as if he’s trying to figure out a game of ‘spot the difference’. He finally spots the difference, in the end, and he sighs. Coincidentally, the chair happened to spin so it turned to face him directly at Marvus. He looked at Marvus as if he were the child instead. 

“Chahut’s gonna be pissed.”

“Chahut already knows about him.”

“Was she pissed?”

“Yes, but she can’t talk, that would be hypocritical.”

The kid tilts his head, “Why?” He asked.

Marvus smirks before saying, “Because she’s crushing on the beefy Olive.”

Kiddo blinked, slightly shocked. “I really shouldn’t be as surprised as I am,”

“Well, now you know.”

“The More You Know, I guess,” Kiddo sighed then, before looking back at the picture. He looked back up at Marvus, “So what, did he make you laugh?”

Marvus blushed, looking directly  _ not _ at him.

“I’m taking that as a yes, you know.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” He said, laughing, “You love me! I’m your son, remember?”

“I know,” Marvus sighed, “I know.”

Marvus then proceeded to tell his child (even though they’re only a sweep apart, really they’re just close friends and Marvus knows it, but he’s too much of a lusus figure to stop adopting people. He tries to stop, but he just can’t. He can’t! It’s awful. He should stop.) about the situation at hand, and how he got a crush on Kuprum in the first place. 

“Why don’t you just date him as a Goldblood then?” He asks.

“I can’t fucking  _ do that!” _

“Why not?”

“Because it’s technically illegal.”

“Fuck the police,” He argued, “What’re they gonna do?”

“Plus, he’ll hate me?? Considering I’m a purpleblood and I  _ lied  _ to him!!” Marvus replied, annoyed.

“Just say Sparki died then.” The kid shrugged, “And then woo him with your charm a second time by being yourself,”

Marvus stared at him.

_ “Oh my fucking God.” _

He considered the situation. He could always make another Goldblood outfit, the populace is populated enough with Golds as it is to not be that noticeable. But on the other hand, he’d be lying again… not that he isn’t lying  _ already. _

_ God, you are so bad at this,  _ He thought to himself.

There isn’t time to wallow in pity. 

“Are you thinking about it?” Kiddo asked.

“I am thinking about it,” Marvus replied, “However, I want to deal with something else first,”

“Is it the Chahut thing?”

“Yeah, it’s the Chahut thing.”

_ “NICE.” _

* * *

Marvus had invited Konyyl to come around for a meeting. He told Chahut the same thing. The meeting would be held in a very dark, very suspicious room, which should get them suspicious.

Good, that’s the plan.

He began working with the kid through this plan when he promised that he could help out with his love-life, which made him immediately go on board with the plans he had. The kid was too predictable at times.

It was simple, the plan: Get Chahut and Konyyl in the same room, sit them down, and turn the place into a proper date area. Perfect. Easy.

Or not.

Konyyl doesn’t take well being told what to do, apparently, and Chahut was pretty reluctant to go along with it too.

But at least he got them both in the same vicinity! It took a while for them to actually get into the same room, but oh well. 

The kid, dressed in the smartest get-up he could put on him (though he wasn’t wearing any shoes still, and Marvus is still both annoyed and confused as to why the child refuses to put on shoes) pulled out a chair for both of them to sit on. 

“Kid,” Chahut asked, a nervous tilt in her voice, “What’s Marvus Plannin’?”

The kid grinned, “Classified information! Honk!”

“Oh, God,” Chahut muttered.

“I agree,” Konyyl replied. 

That’s when Marvus revealed himself to the duo. He was followed by the twins Barzum and Baizli, who were carrying plates of food and placing them on the table in front of the couple. 

“Hope you enjoy your date, girls!” Marvus says, winking. 

He is the best matchmaker. 

It is him.

He then left the girls to it, watching their date from afar. He left the decision-making and entertainment to the other three. The twins and Lil Bro will know what to do, they’ve been here long enough. 

He did hear Chahut mutter something which sounded similar to “I am so fucking sorry,” before he left the room, however. She’s flustered, then. 

Good.

It’s about time she got a fucking  _ girlfriend. _

It’s about 2 hours later when she finally texted Marvus back with a status report. 

CHAHUT: marvus fuckin xoloTo i am goin’ To kill you buT firsT...  
CHAHUT: i goT a girlfriend...

MARVUS: THATS mY GIRL!!!!!!!!! <333

CHAHUT: you’re still on my murder lisT...  
CHAHUT: in my scrapbook you shall go...  
CHAHUT: righT nexT To ThaT one weird violeTblood wiTh a fooT feTish...

MARVUS: Oh fuck you.

CHAHUT: hey...  
CHAHUT: you’re The one wiTh a Thing for Thighs, not me...

MARVUS: You are the reason we dont have any nice things. Do you know that? We have nothing nice and it is all your fault.

CHAHUT: iT’s my faulT ThaT you have a Thing for nice Thighs?

MARVUS: ITS YOUR FAULT WE DONT HAVE ANY NICE THINGS BECAUSE YOU KEEP mENTIONING THAT TO EVERYONE I mEET WITH YOU. ITS EMBARRASSING. STOP IT.

CHAHUT: hahahahaha...

MARVUS: ITS NOT FUNNY. 

CHAHUT: you’re such a dork iT is honesTly unreal...   
CHAHUT: iT’s no wonder you’re sTill single

MARVUS:   
MARVUS: I hate you! I hate you. All I feel for you is hate. Hate is My only feeling for you. Loathing. 

CHAHUT: love ya Too bro

MARVUS: Suck My bulge. 

CHAHUT: bro i have a girlfriend...

MARVUS: AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH HER. BEST WISHES ETC. 

CHAHUT: pff  
CHAHUT: anyway i’ll see ya laTer...  
CHAHUT: dork

Marvus sighed. 

At least she and Konyyl, the girl she was pining over for what felt like sweeps, are dating? That was the whole point of this escapade anyway.

At least Chahut is happy. 

His phone vibrates again. 

CHARUN: Have yo-3u tho-3ught abo-3ut it?

… He heaved out another heavy sigh. 

MARVUS: I thought about it yeah.

CHARUN: And.....?

MARVUS: I think iM going to give it a shot. 

MARVUS: I Mean. Whats the worst that can happen right?

CHARUN: :o-3 That’s great!

CHARUN: I wish yo-3u luck!!!

MARVUS: Hahaha. 

MARVUS: Thanks pal. 

CHARUN: 

CHARUN: 

MARVUS: Shit.

MARVUS: What did i do now.

CHARUN: NO-3THING!!

CHARUN: I just... yo-3u used the wo-3rd ‘pal’ instead o-3f ‘bro-3’.

MARVUS: ... Oh. 

MARVUS: Is that... good?

CHARUN: Yeah!! 

CHARUN: :D

MARVUS: Because like. I aint wanna be disrespectful of a Motherfucker. That aint what iM about yknow? You aint a bro and you aint a sis but you still being a MeMber of My fucked up Motherfuckin faM ya get My drift?

MARVUS: So you be a good Motherfuckin pal. 

CHARUN: Yo-3u do-3n’t have to-3 explain yo-3urself. 

MARVUS: Sorry iM fucking this up aint i.

CHARUN: 

CHARUN: Yo-3u’re pretty weird. 

MARVUS: IM sorry. 

CHARUN: Why are yo-3u apo-3lo-3gising?

MARVUS: SORRY!!!

 

MARVUS has blocked CHARUN!

 

_ Why do I insist on fucking everything up? _ Marvus asked himself, placing his head on his desk. He unblocked Charun after thirty seconds, and Charun immediately texted back.

CHARUN: Did yo-3u blo-3ck me because yo-3u were flustered abo-3ut so-3mething, o-3r did I o-3verstep so-3me bo-3undaries?

MARVUS: 

MARVUS: Please dont Make Me answer that. 

CHARUN: But I want yo-3u to-3. 

MARVUS: You are worse than My child. 

CHARUN: Yo-3u mean the wiggler a sweep yo-3unger than yo-3u?

MARVUS: Yes.

CHARUN: He seems nice tho-3ugh? 

CHARUN: Wait, are yo-3u calling me nice?? Well, nicer thank yo-3ur kid????? 

MARVUS: Dont ever change charun. Please. Never change for anyone. 

CHARUN: I’ll try, but it’ll be hard co-3nsidering I’ll change so-3mewhat when I get a mo-3irail. But I bet that wo-3n’t happen so-3o-3n tho-3ugh. 

MARVUS: Why not?

CHARUN: Who-3’d want to-3 be pale fo-3r an o-3live who-3 do-3es no-3thing but make junk art and eat wo-3rms all night?

MARVUS: M

MARVUS: mANY PEOPLE. 

CHARUN: ...

CHARUN: I suppo-3se yo-3u’re right. I just pro-3bably haven’t met them yet. 

CHARUN: Either way, I think yo-3u really SHO-3ULD go-3 fo-3r Kuprum. He seemed to-3 really like yo-3u as Sparki!!

MARVUS: 

MARVUS: ... Ya. Yeah I. 

MARVUS: Yeah. 

MARVUS: Yeah!

CHARUN: YEAH!!!

MARVUS: Shit!!!! 

CHARUN: :?

MARVUS: SoMething just caMe up that i gotta deal with. Gotta go. Speak to you later though. 

CHARUN: O-3h, o-3kay! Bye!

There wasn’t anything that came up, and Marvus feels a little bad about lying to them about it so he could drop the conversation. He placed his head back on the desk. 

He just needs a moment or ten to reevaluate his life choices. 

_ WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE PALE FOR THE DENSEST MOTHERFUCKER ON THE PLANET?  _

**_WHY._ **

“You ok, Dad?” The kid asked Marvus, and he felt a familiar sense of Deja vu. 

He sighed before muttering, “No.”

“You’ll get there Dad. You’ll get there.” He said, patting Marvus on the shoulder. 

“I really fucking won’t.” Marvus muttered.

“Look at me.” The kid demanded, so he looked up to face him. “You will get through this and you will end up with two lovely partners by the end of it. Why? Because you, sir, are Marvus Motherfuckin’ Xoloto and you are the best motherfuckin’ matchmaker on this side’a paradox space. You are allowed to have motherfuckin’ romance drama, you’re a young troll just like the rest’a us. And you can motherfucking  _ do this bullshit.” _

Marvus grinned at the kid. “Yeah! You’re right! I can do it!!”

Naturally, 3 nights later Marvus was caught sobbing into his pillow because he ‘couldn’t do it and chickened out at the last second’ because he’s an ‘unruly and useless coward who doesn’t deserve praise’. The purpleblood without a name sighed at the sight of his makeshift father acting in such a wigglerish way. 

Welp, if Marvus himself can’t fix it, then he’ll sure as hell have to do it himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed instalment 2 of Oh, Worms?
> 
> I wanted this longer (Especially Chahut/Konyyl date) but at the same time it's perfect the way it is.
> 
> [My Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/misslulub)


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